A pretty hot trend for many brides to be is a bit of variety when it comes to their wedding dress.  By variety I mean choosing & wearing 2, or sometimes more, different wedding dresses on your wedding day!  For the baby boomer generation this is a hard concept to grasp.  To be quite honest, I am not quite sure I understand it either.  However, it is becoming so common that it is worth discussing.  As you’ll see, I myself have a pretty valid reason for learning more about this trend.

If any of you have had the chance to check out my bio page you may have seen that Daryl & I are tying the knot this upcoming February, in the middle of winter.  There is such a reason for what might seem to many as our apparent madness to get married in a month where it is well below freezing.  Simply put, Daryl & I love winter and more specifically love skiing.  We love skiing so much that we are going to actually go skiing on our wedding day.   We are going to hit the slopes immediately following our ceremony and before our reception begins.  And yes, to answer the final question you are for sure wondering by now, we are going to ski in our full wedding attire;  Daryl in his tuxedo, me in my wedding dress.   Thus you see my curiosity in at least exploring the topic of multiple wedding dresses.

As far as I understand it, this trend of brides purchasing and wearing more than one bridal gown originated based on the idea that many brides recognized that they would want something more formal to wear during their ceremony, and something more relaxing, flexible or informal (informal may or may not be code for more  comfortable) for the reception to let loose and celebrate in.    I have actually been to a wedding like this, where the bride wore a different gown to the reception than what was worn at the ceremony.   For the sake of comfort, it makes sense; however, for the wallets of some brides, and maybe even the emotional and sentimentality of others,  it may not make much sense.

Of course, besides the sentimentality and emotion that could be tied to a dress that you will spend the biggest day of your life in, there is also the rational side of each bride that wants to save some $$.  Wedding dresses, just like almost everything else in the bridal industry do not come at a cheap price.  If you are a bargain hunter you could certainly find a ‘cheap’ dress at an outlet or chain store like David’s Bridal for $500 or less, or even about $100 if the dress or style has been discontinued.  However, if you don’t shop at one of the less expensive boutiques, want a name brand or choose a dress that is not discontinued you are easily looking at $500 on the very inexpensive end.    Top designers, customized dresses or top bridal boutiques could easily have you spending well over a grand to a few thousand for the ‘perfect’ dress.  So, if you take this expense, and multiply it by 2 or even more the costs add up even more rapidly.

If not for the financial benefit of only spending money for a wedding dress once,there is also the emotional attachment a bride may have to the ideal wedding dress once you actually find it.   Of course, if a bride has two dresses, she may or may not be as ‘emotionally tied’ to either.  What exactly do I mean by ‘emotionally tied’?  I am simply referring to a feeling that I am sure many women can relate to.   Remember when you were younger and you had a new outfit that you really liked and were very excited to wear? Perhaps that special outfit was for a special day or occasion or just something you thought looked fantastic in.   Well, whenever I have this feeling, which was  more common as  teenager but still happens in my adulthood, I look forward to wearing the fun new exciting outfit for as long as possible.  Naturally, this is exactly how I feel about my wedding dress! I have never been a dress kinda gal but you only get married once and I definitely plan on wearing my dress for as long as possible and enjoying every minute of it.   (Actually, this already happens each time I am at the bridal store and try on my dress!) So call me traditional or old fashioned (most people don’t) , perhaps there is something I am still missing but I feel ‘emotionally tied’ to my wedding dress and do not want to share this emotion with a second wedding dress and have to split the time.

So despite the ‘athletic’ challenge that Daryl and I are giving ourselves on our upcoming wedding day I believe I am going to stick with the ‘traditional’ route and only wear one dress on my wedding day.  The same beautiful big & full gown I will marry Daryl in will be the same dress that I will ski in, which will be the same dress I celebrate in and dance in at our reception.  My dress is a Maggie Sottero dress, www.maggiesottero.com , nice and full with lots of pick ups,  so when I say big & full I really mean it.  I am sure I will need some help from Daryl and the groomsmen who will be skiing with us to help me ski and get down the slope to prevent me from tripping over the fine pair of skis I will also be sporting.   But despite this thrill I am giving myself on my wedding day and the extra difficulty my large wedding dress will add to the scenario I am still going to wear the same dress all day.  My excuse to wear two dresses would be just about as valid as another other I have ever heard, but I am choosing one husband and having only one wedding so I figure one dress should be good enough.

Please share your thoughts on the two dress concept and whether or not you will have one wedding dress or two!

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Check another thing off of my checklist!   Invitations.

Choosing invitations might seem like one of the simplest and perhaps mundane tasks involved in planning a wedding.  I certainly thought it would be.  I was under the false impression that picking out invitations involved choosing a few words or phrases that we were good with, a color or two that matched our winter theme and a general style that we liked.  I figured with all of the other decisions involving our event that invitations would be low on my list in terms of the time given to each particular task.  Wow, was I wrong.  Thank God we have a great wedding planner with a lot of patience.

We set out a few weeks ago to begin the task of choosing our invites at one of our appointments with our wedding planner.  I knew they had books upon books from every company under the sun with thousands of different styles, colors, inserts, word & font choices to choose from.  Despite this, I just figured I wouldn’t care that much and we would quickly find what we wanted.  Now, 4 plus weeks later, our invitations are finally off to the printer!

But, given the confusion and incredible # of options available to couples when picking their invitations I thought I could shed some light on this task and offer some tips now that we have been through this process.

1.  Have an idea of what you want before you begin the formal decision process!

Daryl and I had a brief idea of what we were looking for before we started.  We knew what colors we wanted, navy blue, white, silver or even a light ice blue.   Any variations of those colors would have been fine for us.  We also had a pretty good idea of the wording we wanted, simple.  We didn’t want anything too religious or too formal.  We also knew we might want a design that added to the winter theme.  We ended up choosing snowflakes.   Also, have at least a small awareness of the different design and style options that are available.  There are thousands!  So, before sitting down to officially choose and invitation first explore your options a bit and ask yourself these questions.

What colors do I want?

What design or logo do I want?  Perhaps your monogram?  A seasonal design? A themed design?

Do I want an invitation with flaps and inserts?

Do I want a standard invitation with no inserts or flaps that is more simple?

Do you want an inner & outer envelope?

A good place to start is any website that caters to the engaged.  Most wedding companies and websites have sample invitations or ideas on their sites.  This way you can explore your options before going into a store or looking at a book.  The two companies whose book we looked at at our reception site were www.carlsoncraft.com & www.birchcraft.com You can go to their website & find a dealer in your area.  Remember, if you are looking through a manufacturer’s book, a lot of these style decisions will already be dictated to you based on the style you chose.

2.   Once you start the process, keep it simple!

Through the awesome suggestion of our planner, the night Daryl and I officially started looking at invitations, meaning we were now in serious decision mode, we each took a big invitation book and earmarked pages that we liked, separately.  The first time around we were only looking at the style of each invitation, not the details.  This simplified things a great deal because we each got to choose what we liked individually without each others influence.  This is how we did it the first time around.  Once we both went through all of the books, we went through each book together and started eliminating.  We compared two at a time and the one we liked the least of the two was eliminated until we were left with only 1 invitation style in all of the books!! Once we got to this point we felt like we had made huge progress; however, we still had to decide on the wording, the colors, the monogram and the amount of inserts we wanted.

3. Take it one step at a time.

Once you and your fiance decide on a style, the next step is to pick out the smaller less noticeable details.  If you are looking through the book of a stationary manufacturer, the book will be coded and provide all of the details.  For instance, the book will list what colors the invitation is available in, as well as the different font choices available to you.  The good part is some choices will already be eliminated, the downside is it may be an option you really wanted.  If this is the case, you have to pick another style.  Fonts & layout options for the style you pick should also be listed in the stationary book.

You will also want to pay attention to how many lines are available on each part of the invitation.  You don’t want to get too wordy.  Plus, extra lines, usually means extra $$.  The style you chose will probably also have a couple of layout options.  So pick your style, your color, your font, your layout and if it is an invitation with inserts you must decide how many inserts you will have and what will be on them. Generally, with inserts, there is one for the reception, the ceremony, directions to your event and generally one for the accommodations.   You may also have another insert for your wedding registry or any other pertinent information you think your guests should know.  If you are choosing a simpler invitation, without inserts, all of the information guests need to know must be printed on one surface.  You can always add your own customized insert to put in the envelope once your invitations are printed.   In either case, you should include the web address to your wedding website if you have one, this way guests who use the internet can go and get more details than what you were able to fit on your invite.

4.  Don’t get overwhelmed or rush a decision!

With any task regarding wedding planning people have the tendency to get overwhelmed, invitations are no different.  Remind yourself, as Daryl & I did when we felt overwhelmed by the abundance of choices that no one who is invited to your wedding knows what the invitation could have looked like if you had chosen another font, color, style or choice of wording.  The only thing they will see is the decision you made, not all of the other vast options you were once considering.   Honestly, even if they did,  remember, it wouldn’t make much of a difference.   I hate to be so blunt, but most people upon receiving an invitation don’t read and scrutinize every single word, instead they scan for the important information, reply yes or no, and hang it up on their fridge to go unread until the event nears.   The people who care the most about your invitation are not your guests, but you, your fiance and both of your parents.  So choose what you like, not what you think will look the best to your guests.   You will be the one who puts the invitation in a scrapbook for years to come, its not as likely that your guests will! Remember, if you get too frustrated or overwhelmed, walk away! All of your decisions  do not have to be made in one sitting.  It’s okay to come back and finish another time.  Remember, you are only going to get married once,  so every single thing you do to plan your wedding should be fun! Once it gets stressful  you need to quit temporarily and remind yourself why you are getting married in the first place! It is certainly not to cause stress, so have fun with it and enjoy all of the possibilities!

Simply put,  when it comes to decisions regarding your wedding, with all of the incredible options available to couples these days,  its almost impossible to make a wrong decision.  Formal wedding invitations are no exception, so enjoy the endless possibilities and have fun making the best invitation for you and your fiance!

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6 months; 184 days; 4,416 hours; 264,960 minutes. Okay, enough of that. You get the point: our wedding is getting closer and closer. The 6 month mark for Daryl and I was just a week ago, on the 13th.  The 6 month mark may be the point where some brides might officially begin freaking out. Not me. Now, don’t get me wrong…I have been known to get emotionally stressed, but looking forward I feel pretty confident. Check back in a few months and see if I still feel the same way. Personally, my moments of worry usually come right before, during, or after an appointment with our planner or one of our vendors. Daryl and I are just so busy, we go weeks without doing anything and then cram before and right after a wedding related meeting. But, freak out or not, by this point there are a certain amount of things a bride and groom should have complete by this point. Perhaps not all of the details, but the major stuff anyway, which require down payments, reservations etc. Here’s a quick run down of a list. Feel free to check the list and measure my progress against your own:

The MUST HAVES:

ceremony location / reception hall
wedding date

VENDORS (not necessary for everyone, depends on preference and your event)

photographer

1. portrait decisions, locations etc.
2. payment

videographer

1. payment

dj / band

1. list of music
2. payment

florist (in house for our venue)

1. bouquets, boutonnieres, centerpieces, ceremony decor
2. payment

cake artist / baker (in house & included for our venue)

1. payment

caterer & bar tender (in house & included in our case)

1. menu decisions (buffet style, sit down dinner, dessert bar, specialty desert table,
2. bar options (open bar, partially open, limited, closed etc.)
   

wedding officiant, minister, pastor, lay person etc.

1. ceremony details
2. payment

OTHER / MISCELLANEOUS (not all are necessary)

wedding theme

wedding dress

1. fitting(s)
2. payment

formal wear, tuxedos for men

1. fitting
2. payment

bridesmaids dresses

1. fittings
2. payment

wedding registry

save-the-dates

invite list

website

invitations

schedule of events

table decor

place cards

seating arrangements (if necessary)

wedding favors

honeymoon

Daryl and I have an appointment tomorrow evening with our wedding planner. Hopefully when we get home, we will have another thing or two crossed off from the list!

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Weddings are probably not what Sean P. Diddy Comes, formerly Puff Daddy, etc. etc., had in mind when he came out with that famously catchy rap tune; but they sure can require a lot of benjamins! Fortunately, Daryl & I aren’t as scraped as some may be when it comes to our wedding budget. We are lucky enough to have generous parents who are forking over most of the benjamins required to have the wedding. Yet, despite this, benjamins have still been on my mind lately. Even though we are fortunate enough not to be paying for most of our wedding, there are still some important decisions to be made that require some creative accounting and decision-making regarding the benjamins. Here are my current $$ issues and my decisions, or lack there of, regarding them.

Benjamin $$$ issue #1. Wedding rings. Since weddings rings are meant to symbolize your marriage and your love I have absolutely no problem shelling out the benjamins $$ for our wedding rings. I fully expected to pay a decent price for the rings Daryl and I will forever wear. While this expense could potentially be a large one, depending on the preferences of the to-be wed couple it shouldn’t catch anyone by surprise. Obviously, I have known since we were engaged that this expense was not far off and Daryl and I would be paying for it. This expense, while a large one, is taken care of and saved for. In conclusion, wedding rings: a large amount of benjamins $$$, but doable and expected, not a hidden cost by any means. I can deal with that. Decision: easily spend the benjamins $$$ baby.

It's ALL about the BENJAMINS!

Benjamin $$$ issue # 2. Honeymoon. If you have been able to browse our website www.meghananddaryl.com you might notice that Daryl and I still haven’t come to a final decision on a honeymoon destination. Officially we have decided it will be a ski getaway. What else is there for two ski nuts like us getting married in the middle of winter? We have also decided it will be in the state of CO in one of those adorable little ski towns like Aspen, Vail or Breckenridge. However, all of this still remains somewhat unofficial for now because we haven’t yet decided on a specific place to stay in any of these towns, nor on a specified budget. I have been saving some money slowly to put to use for our honeymoon. Yet, with the other wedding-related expenses, saving money in general has now become a little harder. To further complicate things, we have not yet decided if we are going to allow guests to contribute to our honeymoon via a honeymoon registry. So all in all, the whole honeymoon thing registers pretty large on the Benjamin scale. Man, I wish there was an all-inclusive ski resort! To sum it up, honeymoon: an expected and not hidden cost but not yet doable and/or entirely paid for. Decision: spend the benjamins $$$, within reason, when you have them…key but vital part.

Benjamin $$$ issue #3. Ironically, reason #3 for me is the most minimal of the cash related issues that I am most concerned with lately; however, it is a gray area because it involves not an expense for me but for my bridal party. In fact, it is the entire reason I have decided to feature today’s post on this issue; I have literally been toying over this decision for months, so much so that it has caused me to procrastinate in telling the girls to go ahead and order their bridesmaids dresses. The debate is whether or not to pay for a portion of the girls dresses and if so, how much? Yes I know, when my best friends agreed to be in our wedding they knew they were going to incur some expenses, largely the cost of their dress. However, a few months ago, mainly when I was more financially optimistic, I was ready, able and willing to pay for a portion of the dress for my each of my girls. This was especially more true once we found the dress they would wear because it was a little pricier than I had hoped. So I decided I would pay a portion of the dress costs for each of the girls, insert amount here X 6, knowing for sure it would be a large help to some of them. But of course, me being famous among those who know me for my indecisiveness, I couldn’t decide on the proper amount especially considering my multiplier of 6. Well as I toiled over this thought more and more time went on. And as I very briefly alluded to, my other personal expenses got greater and more foreboding. Now, with the dresses still unordered, and the wedding getting closer and closer, I am unsure what to do. Should I take on some of the cost myself, even if it means going out of my budget due to recent unexpected and expected costs, both wedding and non-wedding related? Or should I let the girls pay for their own dress since they never knew I was planning on paying for a portion of it at all? Or should I let the girls pay for the dress themselves and reimburse them once I get my own budget back on track? Lastly, I could also just get them bigger and better bridesmaids gifts.  Who knows? These are some of the thoughts going through my mind. In conclusion: bridesmaids dresses, not an expected cost, a volunteer cost therefore, perhaps hidden and low on the benjamin $$$ scale. Decision: not yet made. Please feel free to share your opinion….

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